The Chirping Moms

HELP: Siblings sharing a room and bedtime!

We have taken some BIG steps in this house to get ready for baby #3 to arrive!  These boys have moved to the same room to make space for their little sister…
Now it hasn’t been a smooth sailing transition for us!  It hasn’t been TERRIBLE, but for today’s post, I’m seeking advice on how to do bedtimes with two kids in one room (ages 4 and 2)?!?!?!?  
At first, we tried both boys in at the same time—ha, they can play and play and play and play.  It would take a good 2-3 hours for them to fall asleep soon.  We have tried staggering bedtimes, with limited success.  Bedtime depends on who naps, how long, etc.  But again—this can take a couple hours to get both completely asleep.  
So I’m just seeking advice on what others do?!?!  Andrew, just hit two and we just moved to a bed when we switched rooms.  He is doing well with the bed transition, but can take awhile to unwind although he is quiet while playing.  Aiden just turned four and is a very active child so it does take him some time to wind down (not always quietly), especially with a little brother in there!  
So far—I’m leaning towards a 6:45ish bedtime (which is a little earlier than usual) so it gives the boys a little more time to unwind together.  And hopefully, they will be sleeping by 8ish?!?!  I tried it tonight—Aiden was asleep by 8:10 and Andrew asleep by 8:30, only a handful of times did we have to head up to remind them to sleep.  (They did stay in bed, thankfully.)
So any and all advice is appreciated?  We are hoping to get this smoothed out sooner than later for everyone’s sanity although I know this time will pass and I’m trying to be as patient as one can be!

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Comments

  1. We have always had shared rooms at our place- now we have 2 per room for the boys, but they used to all 4 be in the same room. We had some success with staggering bed time. But for the most part just need to be consistent with going in and telling them to quiet down. I would put them to bed and tell them they could talk for a set amount of time, then go in and tell them lights out. That way it wasn't so much of a power struggle since talking was allowed. Putting them to bed too early might backfire since they have a lot of non-tired time to get riled up. I'd say put them to bed later when they are REALLY tired might do better.

    You can also try audio stories….some kids fall asleep to them and it gives them something to focus on other than playing.

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  2. Our boys have always shared a room so it isnt really "new for them". We do put Aiden down a half hour earlier than Michael, but He doesn't normally fall asleep until big brother gets in there. We are just about to start the big bed training for Aiden, so I am sure it will be tough. I would suggest letting them talk or whatever while they are in there. It may take a few hours, but eventually they will get it. We also have a rule that we will turn off the hallway light if they get out of bed and they hate the light being turned off. When I trained Michael in the toddler bed I use to sit with a book outside of their door and send him back to his bed anytime he would come out. I dont know, every kid is different, but this seemed to work for me. I am sure its a whole new ballgame with two in regular beds 🙂

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  3. Our kids share a bedroom too. Daughter is 9 and son turns 4 in a couple weeks. They have always shared a bedroom and its not always easy. Starts with the naps – when home during the day both have to lay in bed for 1.5 hours whether they sleep or not and they do it at the same time. If I can hear them talking or making noise I go in and give a warning. Same at night. If we have to go in multiple times either the night lights are going off or the bedroom door is being closed or I am taking a stuffed animal off their bed or favored toy away each time and they have to earn it back. They are put in bed between 8-8:30ish. Some nights they stay up until 10 but then the next night fall right asleep so it averages 8-10 hours a night. That's plenty for mine with the rest time they get. 6:45 would never work for them – they aren't tired enough. Putting them to bed so early when they aren't tired makes a bigger battle.

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  4. We are working on the same thing in our house!
    We are hoping to have the shared bedroom thing down by the time our 3rd baby comes in May. We just started our son (19 months) in a big boy bed a week or so before Christmas. The first night we tried him in his own room. That was alright, but we thought it would work better for him to be in his big sissy's room to see her fall asleep in her big bed. My daughter is almost 3. It actually has worked pretty good. It could take up to an hour of either my husband or me sitting in front of their door, telling them to be quiet, to lay back down, to close their eyes. But eventually they fall asleep. They both take naps at the same time & they both go to bed at the same time, usually around 8:30 – sleeping until 8 or 8:30 the next morning. Just be patient & keep trying to figure out what works best for your family.
    I am currently sitting in front of the bedroom door, and after 20 mins of struggling for naptime, the kids are still not sleeping :/ They will though, eventually! Let us know how it works out!

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  6. I wish I had info for you. This post honestly makes me scared! We're about to transition our two year old to our almost four year old's room. The 2 year old is a good sleeper, the four year old, well, he likes to play and when the sun rises, he's UP and ready to take on the day. I have 4 bedrooms, so if it became absolutely necessary I could put all the kids in their own rooms, but I'd rather have a guest room for my parents and in-laws when they come to visit.

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  8. Hi Julie,
    Our two started sharing a room when our youngest turned 1. They have the same nap times and same bed times. What worked for us is having the same routine every night. We put them to bed 8-8:30pm. We do baths and then move in to mom and dad's room for a little play and wind down time. We go to their room. We read a book and sing a song and say evening prayers and anything else that's on their minds. The atmosphere is calm and quiet (only a night light). The little one {21mos} is still in a crib, but 3 y/o is not. We used the SuperNanny method whenever she got out of bed. The first time, calmly, take her back to bed and let her know it's bed time. The second time take her to bed and say nothing. Every other time do the same. We didn't have to do it that many times, but that's what we had in our back pocket if we needed to. The routine and wind-down play time with mommy and daddy works great. The SuperNanny method is great for a backup to the "routine" not working.
    Thank you for linking up to Thumping Thursdays Blog Hop. Good luck with bed time.

    Karina
    http://momintheusa.blogspot.com

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  9. When my children (2 yrs apart) were 2 & 4 they shared a room for 3 yrs. I found if they had a bath & read a book they were more relaxed. Also, going to bed a bit later & giving them a few minutes with the lights on to unwind is a good idea telling them you will be back in to turn off the lights & kiss goodnight say prayers or whatever is your routine. It can work as long as you are consistent & always be happy when saying Good Night 🙂

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  11. We did this over the summer. Mine were 1.5 and 3.5 at the time so the 1 year old was still in a crib which limited how much they could play together so I"m sure that helped. The first few nights I sat in the room until they fell asleep.

    If it were me, I'd put them to bed tired and at the same time. But if you find that the earlier bed time to give them time to unwind works better, then stick to what works.

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  12. Hi Julie,
    My kids are almost 2 and almost 5 and share a room. It took sometime, but this is what works for us…
    After dinner, we all go upstairs. We do baths every other night (ahem, usually) and then put on pjs. Around 7, I start the bedtime routine for our youngest with stories, etc. She goes down at 7:30, when my son moves into our room to start his nighttime routine. After our daughter is down, I read to our son, he drinks a little milk, brushes his teeth and we shoot for bedtime around 8 or 8:15. That gives our little one time to fall asleep. It works pretty well for us, but like I said, it did take some time and adjustments here and there. Good luck!!

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  14. Our boys share but we have a similar issue – Cameron is 10 and Jack is 18 months and we have to lie with Jack – so Cam either has to watch TV or read in our room until Jack is down. I would like Jack to fall asleep on his own and still allow Cameron to be in the room – one day.

    Just keep doing what you are doing – they will get into the routine 🙂

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  15. Love your blog…and loved reading everyone's advice!

    We have a 2 (almost 3 yr old) and 4 (almost 5 year old) girls that have both been sharing a room for 16mo now. It was tough at first, but they do get the hang of it if you hold fast to your rules and keep the routine. In the "school year" we start brushing teeth at 7 and put down at 7:30 for prayers and Bible story. By 7:45 we are out of the room and the lights are out and the door is closed. We typically hear them laugh and giggle for a few minutes but if it reaches 8:15 and they are still talking one of us goes to say quiet down and warn them that we better not be back. I can count less than 5 times that we have had to come back for a spanking or to tell them that tomorrow, because they did not choose to honor the rules and be obedient, they would not get jello with lunch or whatever fun snack we might be having.

    Also for nap time….i leave the door open and if there is excessive talking all I have to say is I will just tell Daddy that you didnt take good naps today and he can speak to you when he comes home…and that alone does the trick.

    This seems a little harsh compared to your other blog posters but it sure is nice and easy when they obey and learn that this is how we do it….makes for a little time for me and my husband to sit in silence!

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  16. Hi Julie,
    Our two, Emily and Noah (just 5 and almost 2) share a room and we all love it! (We have another room, but they prefer to share and I like having a guest room for out of town family and friends!) We stagger bed times, but do bath/shower time at the same time, then pjs on, hair and teeth brushed and read a book together. Then at 8:00 Noah (2) gets put to bed while Em goes to the living room to read another book to herself. Emily goes to bed when Noah is asleep which is usually between 8:15-8:30. It works great for us most of the time. (Exceptions: when Noah is sick and has a hard time getting to sleep… this leads to a late bedtime for Em and recently we had to put her to bed in our room while Noah fell asleep. We've found that now they actually sleep better together then in separate rooms! Good luck!

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  18. Good luck to you! This is always a fun time with kids. We have all of our kids in shared rooms–2 in the girls' room, and 2 in the boys' room. Our youngest is just 2 and just moving in with his 9 yr old brother. Consistency in bedtime routine is the key for us. We tried staggering their bedtimes, but found the later entry was disruptive. All children go to bed at 8. They are all allowed to read in bed for 30 minutes except the little one. He gets a story and songs before lights out. His brother has the top bunk and a private light to keep reading without being disruptive. So far, it's working. Consistency! That's the key for us.

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